


Adventures in Time

by C1ashi1dr



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm making this up as I go, Just a lot of things, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2019-09-28 02:25:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17174081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C1ashi1dr/pseuds/C1ashi1dr
Summary: A series of one-shots following Ashildr and Clara as the universe slips by, be it the Ashildr and Clara we know or the echos of Claras and Ashildrs long gone.





	1. The Most Wonderful Time

**Author's Note:**

> After a brief argument, Ashildr rediscovers Christmas.

They met in the console room in what had been designated as their morning as they always did, two mugs of tea clasped tightly in Clara’s hands. Ashildr was already stretched out in the jump seat, waiting for her, manual in her hands, eyes scanning across the page. Reaching a hand out, she took the mug from Clara without looking. Neither couldn’t remember when this routine of sorts started, only that it had become as normal as breathing (or not breathing as the case may have been) and neither felt like questioning it.

“Where are we off to today, Ashildr?” Clara asked, leaning against the console, watching the other immortal flip idly through pages, looking for any interesting information. When, after a few moments, the question wasn’t answered, Clara sighed and asked another, hoping to get a response of some kind. “I was thinking about heading back to Blackpool...what do you think?” Ashildr’s head snapped up at that, a look of confusion crossing her face.

“There is no longer business that you have to attend to in Blackpool, correct? You’ve taken care of all of your obligations, and all of your belongings are here?” Ashildr had adjusted her posture to better look her in the eyes, tense and apprehensive of what she was going to say. Though Clara was never a huge fan of making her traveling companion uncomfortable on purpose, she couldn’t help think her reaction was ridiculous.

“I want to see my family,” Clara said with a shrug, meeting Ashildr’s grey eyes steadily, never one to give in to the other woman. “It’s been a while.”

“You’d be better off forgetting them, you know,” Ashildr said, though she got to her feet and took her place at the other side of the console, which she had been learning to drive under Clara’s careful tutelage. “It won’t do you any good to linger in the past, take it from me.”

“They’re my family, Ashildr,” Clara replied, already flipping some levers, looking around the center of console to keep the eye contact between them. It was a tic she had developed, and couldn’t explain, but Ashildr never said a word about it. “I’m allowed to miss them.” There was a brief mumble of dissent from her and she flicked one of the switches between her fingers, the small clicking filling the room. Finally, Clara couldn’t stand it and had to ask: “What was that?”

“I’m all the family you need,” Ashildr replied. “You know they won’t understand-”

“We’ve been over this what? A million times,” Clara interrupted, feeling the annoyance begin to bubble in her stomach as it did every time Ashildr brought up the topic. “I don’t care if they understand, and I know that they will die and turn to dust, and it will only be a fraction of what we will live, but they are my family. I love them and I have to be there for them.” Without another word, she slammed the lever down and sent the TARDIS tumbling into the vortex, towards Earth, the twenty-first century, Blackpool. Ashildr glared at her, but Clara ignored her in favor of reading the screens.

So focused was she on the screen, Clara didn't notice the tiny patter of feet as Ashildr rounded the console, ending up behind her to wrap her arms around the older-but-younger woman's waist. Clara started at the sudden contact, but she made no move to pull away, instead leaning back into the embrace, her hands coming up to rest on Ashildr’s, which were splayed across her stomach. Ashildr’s chin came to rest at Clara’s shoulder, looking over at the screen. Words unspoken went between them and Ashildr pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek, making a small smile appear where lips had been drawn tight to a frown.

“I'm sorry,” Ashildr mumbled against the exposed skin of her neck, after an eternity had passed and they were nearing their destination. “I know how much they mean to you.”  
Clara only smiled and turned her head to capture the other woman's lips fully. It was slow, full of forgiveness and acceptance, and it was only the thud of the landing TARDIS that drew them apart.

Clara was the first to exit, pushing through the back door of the diner, through the actual diner, and out through the last set of doors. Ashildr hung back only for a moment, closing up the doors behind her with a shake of her head. It took her only a moment to realize that the air outside the TARDIS was freezing, the wind biting into her arms as it brushed up under her jacket. Clara continued on and why shouldn't she? As per her condition, temperature didn't affect her, leaving Ashildr to complain about the cold, or lack thereof. 

“Hey, wait up,” Ashildr said, noting how far Clara had gotten while she had paused, and she rushed after the woman, grabbing onto her arm as she caught up. For the first time, Ashildr truly considered her surroundings and noted the different decorations that adorned the streets of Blackpool, lights hanging from the tops of buildings, tall trees covered in small ornaments. Clara observed her girlfriend doing as such, and saw the gears turning in her head, eyes flitting across every surface before they came to rest on Clara’s face, confusion clear in them. “What is all this?”

“Christmas,” Clara replied with a kind of obvious tone to her voice and she watched the confusion contort Ashildr’s face before recognition filled the gaze instead, and she clutched at the edge of Clara’s arm, eyes alight with enthusiasm. “Excited?”

“Christmas!” Ashildr declared happily, and instead of replying she drew Clara close for a deep kiss, in the midst of wandering souls. When she pulled away, she left Clara’s panting, eyes unfocused for a moment, and she grinned brightly. “I cannot believe I forgot Christmas. Mind, I didn’t like it much when I was here on Earth, stupid people running about with no sense of direction and all of the children whining and crying, not my idea of a fun day at all.”

“I know what you mean,” Clara said distantly, clasping Ashildr’s hand in her own. They walked down the street together, hands swinging between them, brisk winds stirring their hair, the words ‘Happy Christmas’ ringing around them. “Happy Christmas, Ashildr.”

“Happy Christmas, Clara.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is a day late but I still wanted to give these two Christmas.


	2. Still Hurting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me hadn't meant to disappear for two weeks. She really hadn't.

Me had done what she could to soothe her girlfriend’s pain, but there was only so much she could do for Clara. It wasn't much (seeing as she was still getting used to the whole ‘loving another person’ thing again) and the argument had all come about in such a whirlwind of tears and shouting that Me had been blown back by the aggressive emotion that had come from her lively girlfriend. Perhaps it had been a long time coming, days and weeks blurred into chunks for her, and Me just hadn’t noticed it. She hadn't noticed how long she'd been gone. That was her fault.

Still, she would be foolish to not attempt to make up for the missed time now, and as such she gently tapped the door to Clara’s series of rooms (rooms that had belonged to the both of them, but had been taken over by her) and it slid open. A tray wobbled in her hands and she struggled to keep it balanced as she quietly called out Clara’s name. It was probably hopeless to think that she’d get a reply. Clara had been beyond pissed when they’d last spoken. When they’d argued. When Me had screwed everything up and caused this entire mess. 

She kept calling Clara’s name.

So what if she’d gotten attached? Even if Clara was the first person she’d loved for...a long time, it wasn’t like she hadn’t taken lovers in the past. Getting attached was human and being around Clara made her human again, however reluctant she’d been about it in the beginning. 

“Yes?” Clara’s voice was shaky, emotions too blurred to make out. Sadness was there, a hint of anger and bitterness. This was going to be harder than Me thought it would be. 

“I brought you some food. I didn’t see you in the kitchen, so I thought…” Me’s voice trailed off, a shrug and a mumble finishing the mess of words. She should know better. Talking with Clara wasn’t hard, it wasn’t supposed to be. And now Me was stumbling over words like she was a nervous schoolboy facing a pretty girl.

“Yeah, I’ve not been eating,” Clara said, that strange mix of emotions there. “Don’t need to.”

“Oh, right. Sorry, I forgot about that.” Stupid, stupid, thinking that Clara needed to eat. Even Me didn’t need to eat, but it was a formality, for the both of them. They liked the taste of food and hunger didn’t feel good to Me, even if she couldn’t die of starvation or feel the side effects.

“No, no, it’s alright. Come, sit,” she patted the bed where she was sitting, movements stiff and awkward. It was as if she were a robot, running through the motions without any thought at all. “Just because I don’t need to eat doesn’t mean I can’t.” Me smiled (a gesture returned tightly by Clara) and she handed the tray over. Clara ate in silence, Me just watching while she munched on a few crackers that she’d picked out from the endless supply in the kitchen. 

“Are we-are we alright?” Me asked when the meal was finished.

“To be honest?” Clara asked, staring ahead at the wall. “I’m not sure. You disappearing for...for days on end doesn’t inspire any confidence in your reliability. Just leaving me alone here, without any indication as to where you went or what you were doing or when you were coming back-Me, I had to rely on the Diner to tell me if you were still on the ship. I thought that you’d left me for good.”

Me winced at that and looked down at her hands, clutched against the material of the shirt she wore. “I didn’t mean to make you think that, I swear. I just needed alone time-” Clara’s hand came up to cut her off and the brief thought of a slap crossed Me’s mind before it was pushed away. 

“And I understand that, but if you’d just _told_ me,” Clara said, her voice cracking in a place that Me had never expected it to. “I understand needing space, wanting time to yourself, but if you just disappear for weeks. Weeks, Me, I waited weeks for you to show back up and the moment you do, you act like nothing's wrong. It was like you’d just popped away for an instant.”

“It felt like an instant.” Those were the wrong words. Me knew that the moment that she’d said them. She couldn’t take them back now, so she pressed forward. “It was a blur. In one moment I had just closed the door and the next, a week had gone by and I was starving. I don’t mean to do it, but after so long it just...it blurs together.” A lame explanation for a thoughtless action. Clara had to hate her now. Me would hate herself if she was in Clara’s shews. 

“I just need space, alright,” Clara said and Me wanted to laugh at the cruel games the universe was now playing. “I want this, Me, I really do. Traveling with you, being with you, it’s one of the greatest things in my life, but if we can’t be open...if you can’t tell me when you need to step away, I won’t be able to do this.” 

The words were a dismissal, and Me took them as such, standing and grabbing the tray, actions robotic. She had to hold in the emotion that wanted to control her. She had to pull it in, keep it tight against her until she was away from Clara, away from the pain. 

When the doors slid shut, Me dropped against the wall, hand over her mouth. The tray clattered to the floor, muffling the short sob that rose then got caught in Me’s throat. She’d fucked it all up. She’d tried to be the bigger person, she’d tried to make it up to Clara for abandoning her but she’d failed. Clara had to hate. She would hate herself. 

Picking herself up off the floor, Me wiped her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. It was too compromising to cry here. She had to find the switch for her emotions now. Shut everything down, no matter what it was. Happiness, sadness, laughter, anger, _love_. It was too much to ask that she feel things for a little while. Until Clara decided what to do, she’d bide her time and hold onto the last thread of sanity.

Before she left, Me scribbled out a short note and shoved it under the door, hoping the Diner would allow it to reach the other side.

_Please don’t face the raven._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna try to update this on a semi-regular basis. Here's to hoping I'm successful!


	3. Love Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first thing you notice is her smile. It’s blinding, brilliant, and crosses transcends the realm of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Doctor Who, I just love these two space nerds.

The first thing you notice is her smile. It’s blinding, brilliant, and crosses transcends the realm of time. It’s there in the Viking village, when you first meet her (or so the diaries claim) and her traveling companion. You take to her faster than you ever take to him. But then she’s gone, but her smile is burned into your mind for the rest of time, whether it be the small one she gives you when the men are training or the proper one she gives you when you uncover your creation.

You chase that smile through time. Dreams that turn to sketches that turn to pictures, littered about your diaries. Even when she dies (when you contribute to her death), you continue to see her. It’s hard to tell if those are dreams or if it is reality. She goes by many names, just as you used to, and none of them recognize you. None of them know your face, your name (you’ve not changed it since Trap Street), they all stare past you like you aren’t there. Maybe you aren’t and maybe you are. 

But then it’s the end of the universe, and you’re alone. Millennia upon millennia that have been recorded are lost to you as your diaries burn. There’s nothing but bright lights, burning, stars slowly dying. The universe is burning away before your eyes and you can’t find it in yourself to care. So you sit and play chess with yourself.

Then a TARDIS came knocking at your door. Appearing out of nowhere, that smile was back in your life, saddened and slightly more burdened than before, but there nonetheless. After sending the Doctor off, you stand in your place at the console of your TARDIS. Your TARDIS. It’s almost unbelievable that you’re here. She returns, and you look up. Words are exchanged, unimportant words. Clara circles the console like a predator, eyes fixed to yours as she speaks. It’s enrapturing, every movement, every word, every inch of her being. 

You know that you love her before she sends the TARDIS spiraling through space. You know it when she changes out of the waitress outfit and into clothes that look infinitely more comfortable. You most certainly know it when the TARDIS lands and she looks at you, eyes glimmering. She takes your hand (it’s strangely warm) and tugs you through the first set of doors and then through the second set and out into the world. Oh yes, you love her. And though it burns through every fiber of your being, you don’t tell her. How could you tell her? She’ll be gone eventually, the universe demands it. You’d be wise to remember that. 

Time goes by. You watch her, and the burden on her smile slowly lifts. It becomes more genuine and brighter, until it’s just as you remember it, shaky memory aside. More time goes by. She brings companions in, proper companions, humans and aliens, it didn’t matter to her. She doesn’t consider you her companion (neither do you, for the record) and you are equals. You give the advice and various other lessons to the companions, she drives and gets you into dangerous situations. She’s so brave that it hurts. But that’s one of the many things the universe has taught you over the years: love hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave any prompts in the comments. Any feedback and constructive criticism is welcomed.


End file.
